Listen. We all know the climate is screwed. There is no way to predict what will be happening on Halloween, because the ice caps could be gone by then. Thus, our Halloween costumes have to be versatile; fashion and functionality here we come.

1. Wicked Witch of the West

The basis of this costume is the classic concept of witches melting in water. There’s a lot to unpack there, but that’s not what this article is about. So, paint yourself green with paint that — and this is key — is NOT waterproof. You’ll look great if the sun is shining, and if mother nature decides to start a downpour, the makeup on your face will start running. Then, you will be the Wicked Witch while she’s melting. It’s very meta.

2. A Dirty Car

This idea is pretty straightforward at its core: cars get cleaned when it rains. So, if you get a costume of a car — this one should be waterproof — and put some dirt on it, you get an unexpected twist of a super generic concept. Everyone has seen those videos on Facebook of the kids with the cool Transformers costumes where they can crouch down on the ground and drive away (an ultimate mood), but I’ve never seen anyone wear a car costume that cleans itself in the rain. Bonus: you can throw mud at people you don’t like if it rains and you collect the wet dirt on the car.

3. A Caveman with a Surprise Twist

This one is hard to grasp at first, but hang in there until the end, and maybe it’ll make sense. So, the basis of this costume is a caveman. I’m talking  crazy hair, scruffy beard, the works. That’s the not-raining portion of this plan. When you go out on the town, keep a gigantic black overcoat on your person. This will come into play in a moment. If the gods will  rain upon our nation, throw on your big coat and steal someone’s umbrella. Then you’re Hagrid from the popular series “Harry Potter.”

Dressing for volatile weather is difficult, especially when there is an added pressure of looking fly in a kick-butt costume. So, crunch your imagination and find something innovative and unique this Halloween, because remember: it could be the last one ever.

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